En un mundo donde consumimos imágenes desde que abrimos los ojos hasta en nuestros momentos de relajación, la trampa de compararte en redes sociales se presenta en repetidas ocasiones y con diferentes envoltorios. Sé que se ha dicho mucho sobre temas similares y normalmente intento escribir sólo cuando creo que puedo aportar algo, y para bien, en los últimos años he intentado tener una relación más sana con las redes sociales./ In a world where we consume images from the moment we open our eyes and even in our moments of relaxation, the social media comparison trap is presented repeatedly and with different packaging. I know a lot has been said about similar topics and I usually try to write only when I think I can contribute something, and for good, in recent years I have tried to have a healthier relationship with social media.
🕸 THE SOCIAL MEDIA COMPARISON TRAP 🕸
Seguro que también has experimentado ese momento de “ojalá me viera como esta persona” u “ojalá tuviera este (inserte aquí el objeto de tendencia)”. Muchas veces no podemos controlar ese pensamiento, pero si que podemos controlar la segunda reacción e intentar abordarla desde una perspectiva más analítica./ Surely you have also experienced that social media comparison trap of “I wish I looked like this person” or “I wish I had this (insert trending object here)”. Many times we cannot control that thought, but we can control the second reaction and try to approach it from a more analytical perspective.
Muchas veces y por más que hagamos el ejercicio, es inevitable pensar cosas como ¿me estoy quedando atrás profesionalmente?, ¿debería a esta edad tener una casa o algo más sólido a cierta edad?. Un momento de detox online también viene bien, así como intentar seguir aquello que te aporta y que te inspira de múltiples formas, pero siempre en positivo. Intentar pensar en las redes sociales como un instrumento donde presentamos la parte de la casa que queremos que sea vea. Por tanto esa red social funciona como una ventana donde los bordes de la vivienda no se alcanzan a percibir, pero por supuesto que existen./ Many times and no matter how much we do the exercise, it is inevitable to think things like: am I behind professionally? Should I have a house at this age or something more solid at a certain age? A moment of online detox is also good, as well as trying to follow what brings you and inspires you in many ways, but always positive. Try to think of social media as an instrument where we present the part of the house that we want to be seen. Therefore, this social media works like a window where the edges of the house cannot be seen, but of course they exist.
Probablemente esas personas que han provocado esa trampa de comparación también estén haciendo una fila aburrida para cumplir con un trámite, han tenido un día malo o se hayan comparado con otras en diferentes niveles. El ejercicio que hoy propongo es pensar en la primera reacción respecto a la trampa de comparación y después un ejemplo de la respuesta analítica que podemos tener. / Probably those people who have caused that social media comparison trap are also standing in a boring line to comply with a procedure, they have had a bad day or have compared themselves with others on different levels. Today I propose you an exercise to think about the first reaction regarding the comparison trap and then an example of the analytical response that we can have.
😰 “Ojalá me viera así” / “I wish I looked like that” 😰
Hay bastantes probabilidades de que esa persona con la que nos estamos comparando también esté ejerciendo una comparación de su persona con otra. Además de que no sabemos todos los sacrificios que esté haciendo esa persona para verse así de bien. Tal vez sea su trabajo de tiempo completo y sus rutinas (tanto de ejercicio como de alimentación) sean bastante estrictas. Tal vez no pueda permitirse ese trozo de pizza en una quedad con amigos./ There is a good chance that the person with whom we are comparing ourselves is also making a comparison with another. Plus we don’t know all the sacrifices that person is making to look that good. Maybe looking fit is a full-time job and their routines (both exercise and eating) are pretty strict. Maybe they can’t afford that slice of pizza at a meetup with friends.
✈️ “Ojalá viajara tanto como ese influencer de viajes”/ “I wish I traveled as much as that travel influencer” ✈️
Hay mil maneras de viajar y todas son válidas, pero tal vez no me gustaría estar documentando mi viaje 24/7 o levantarme a las 4 am para tener un shooting idílico en la Fontana di Trevi y que no salgan turistas./ There are a thousand ways to travel and they are all valid, but maybe I wouldn’t want to be documenting my trip 24/7 or get up at 4 am to have an idyllic shooting at the Trevi Fountain with no tourists.
👜 “Ojalá tuviera ese objeto” / “I wish I had that object” 👜
La situación económica de cada persona es diferente, así como sus condiciones de vida. Tal vez esa persona haya crecido un ambiente muy privilegiado o sea un intercambio con marcas, o tal vez se trate de un objeto adquirido a plazos o de una tarjeta de crédito a punto de reventar. Gucci vemos, buró de crédito no sabemos. Nunca sabemos en que situación económica se encuentra cada persona, así que compararse en cuestión de como gastamos no tiene sentido. Por otro lado también pienso en que en estos tiempos las cosas que están de moda son tan efímeras, que probablemente ese bolso en tendencia que cuesta un dinerla ni siquiera te guste en un par de años./ The economic situation of each person is different, as well as their living conditions. Perhaps that person has grown up in a very privileged environment or it is an exchange with brands, or perhaps it is an object acquired with a credit card that is about to burst. Maybe you see a Gucci, but we can’t see that credit bureau. We never know what economic situation each person is in, so comparing ourselves in terms of how we spend does not make sense. On the other hand, I also think that in these times the things that are fashionable are so ephemeral, that you probably won’t even like that trendy bag that costs a lot of money in a couple of years.
😎 “Ojalá fuera así de exitosx” / “I wish I were that successful” 😎
Una de las trampas de comparación más engañosas, porque nunca vemos lo que hay detrás del resultado final: horas de ensayo, propuestas fallidas y fracasos, noches de desvelo, trámites, etc. En este punto también podríamos pensar en el factor de que el éxito siempre debe definirse bajo nuestros propios términos personales y que cada persona inicia su carrera desde un contesto diferente./ Probably the most misleading social media comparison trap, because we never see what lies behind the final result: hours of rehearsal, failed proposals and failures, sleepless nights, paperwork, etc. At this point we could also think about the factor that success must always be defined in our own personal terms and that each person starts their career from a different background.
¿Qué les parece? Es un ejercicio sencillo pero que me ha funcionado mucho para poner las cosas en perspectiva. Con internet se nos presentan miles de situaciones de comportamientos que no son del todo nuevo, pero que se dan en otros contextos mucho más apuballantes. La comparación siempre ha existido, sólo que ahora los escaparates son mucho más amplios y nos alcanzan hasta en el sofá de nuestra cosa. ¿Qué otros mecanismos de defensa tienes para intentar caer en la trampa de la comparación?/ What do you think? It is a simple exercise but it has worked a lot for me to put things in perspective. With the internet we are exposed to a thousands of behavior situations that are not entirely new, but that occur in other much more overwhelming contexts. Comparison has always existed, only now the windows are much larger and reach us even on the sofa of our thing. What other defense mechanisms do you have to try to fall into the social media comparison trap?
Hey Pablo,
Thank you for your kind words against my brand Where I Glow, much appreciated!
Social media can be either a cruel place or an inspiring one. It is very easy to fall into the later with forever comparing our lives against others. Whenever I start to feel heavy over these comparisons, I just take time away. Which I have done for almost two months now. And it does feel great! Like you said we don’t know the burden behind that Gucci bag or the reasons for getting up so darn early to snap photos without tourist.
Have a great week ahead : )
http://www.juanitalikes.com/inexpensive-soy-candle-great-for-love-special
Hello dear Natoya,
Thank you so much for your kind words :)! Glad to know you liked the blog post xx
I love how your articles always make me think. They are always so well written. I agree with what you said. Social media often shows only the positive side of things. Maybe it is best to see the social media as a positive moodboard or inspiration board, something not to be taken too seriously.
Thank you very much for your lovely compliments, Ivana! Your articles always inspire me and give new ideas for more content 🙂
I love how your articles always make me think. They are always so well written. I agree with what you said. Social media often shows only the positive side of things. Maybe it is best to see the social media as a positive moodboard or inspiration board, something not to be taken too seriously.
P.s. love your art
I agree so much with your post and also with the comment below that it can be an inspiring place or cruel one! I do think it’s all about how much time you spend there and also for which purpose. And more than anything, which platform you use. I think Instagram can be exhausting on so many level with people copying each other in an endless loop and no one feels original anymore. But! Pinterest is my babe. I just looove Pinterest. I love how anonymous it is and that it’s only about the picture. There’s not really much information to process, it’s just: do I like this yes or no? With instagram, the captions can be way too annoying and cliché. Pinterest? Yes, give me that sofa! Yeah, love that color combination etc. Hahah I guess it comes down to interaction? On pinterest you just save what you like and move on, on instagram it’s more an active community.
Hope your May was great Pablo and that you’re ready for the summer! Xx
Hey Mia, thank you so much for stopping by.
I couldn’t agree more with that sentence, we could use social media (or even many other places in the internet) to get inspired or to get frustrated. And I felt that Instagram is becoming and infinite loop lately and that’s why I still prefer to read other content in blogs for example, or even in Pinterest where the algorithm is a little bit better in my opinion 🙂
Best, xx!
Hola Pablo, how you doin’?
Did your trip to Rome went well? I hope so!
I guess you was been lucky enough to jump here just on the few fresher days among a week hot as hell and a rainy week end, so that maybe you’ve been able to enjoy strolling around with no much suffering, or am I wrong?
Anyway I hope to travel (out of Italy) soon too! 😀
But let’s pass to the topic of the day : in my opinion you’ll never talk enough of how negative could be the effects of the wrong use of socials and the possible solutions to fight its damages.
Personally, to be honest, maybe for my age, experiences or personality, I don’t feel very much the weirht of the “comparison trap”.
I mean, of course I’d like, for ex., to look like a supermodel, but I can easily imagine how hard should be their life, so I consciusly knows that I’m cute enough to enjoy my life and that’s all.
At the end I think that is not that even if I’d be the most beautiful woman ever, it would change very much my life for better…
And the same is for things: I know people that literally save money from food to buy designer items! And it’s totally out of mind to me!
It’s true that from time to time, if I keep on liking some designer clothing or accessories, I buy them; but if i have the possibilities, and with an eye on the value for money.
At the end they’re just things that in a couple of months gonna be out of fashion, who cares??? plus, even if you’ve got all the designer items of this worls but you’ve got not style or elegance, this is totally worthless to me!
To be honest socials are starting to bore me: before I’ve been found many inspirations on them but now they look like are becoming more and more dull… I don’t know, maybe I’m becoming a boomer.^^
Anyway the risk to be overwhelmed by them is real so I’ve decided to dedicate to them just some precise time span during the day and no more: i do all that I have to do in that hours and then I live my life!
Cool illustration anyway, it makes me think of BTS!^^
Take care and have a great week, Pablo!
Baci!
S
https://s-fashion-avenue.blogspot.com
Hey dear Silvia, thank you so much for your warm words and yes! I had a lovely time in Rome, unfortunately it was too short but I always want to go back to Italy since there are a lot of interesting things to do.
I am super happy to know that these problems don’t affect you that much. I feel the same lately since I am trying to follow just things that inspire me both in creativity and personally. And as you well said there are a lot of possibilites when it comes to expensive items, even people who has loans to get the latest Gucci bag.
Thank you so much for your compliments about the illustration tho, I actually took some inspiration from BTS!
Baci!
Pablo
Your strategy is a very healthy approach to social media. I would also add how often does social media make us think we want things (or should want things) that we really don’t. Hope your week is going well!
Michelle
https://mybijoulifeonline.com
Thanks for checking out the post michelle 🙂
Very Nice and Informative Article. Thank you very much for sharing.
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Great post my blogger friends. Have a nice day !
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Ah Pablo, this is another very timely and topical issue. Comparison is bad enough but social media really just amplifies the negative aspects to the next level and it can be quite damaging if we are not careful. And don’t get me started on influencers and their unrealistic lifestyles. It’s true that people often just post their highlights and we often don’t get to see what it took for them to get there. This is important to keep in mind and I agree it helps to provide a sense of perspective. I also think having strong values and having the fortitude to stick by them also helps with this as well as everything else in life because it helps us maintain a sense of self and self confidence. We also have to remember that not everyone tells the truth on social media and that those who post the most are often the most insecure. Thank you for bringing this subject to the forefront and giving us some fruit for thought and some nice artwork to admire.
Hello Rowena, I am happy to see you on the blog once again 🙂
As you well said we have to be careful with the way we consume content on social media, of course we all do that but it is important to follow things that make you feel good or that inspire you to become a vetter version of yourself (it could be any aspect: creativity, personally, etc.)
Your words means a lot, thank you for taking a minute of your day to visit 🙂
Hey Fungi!
You’re so right…we’ve got to put things into perspective! It’s not always as it seems and we never really know what happens behind the scenes. Also, perfect doesn’t exist even thought it seems like some people master it very well.
Hope you have an amazing summer!
http://www.fashionradi.com
Radi, I am super happy to see you here once again!
Thank you very much for checking out the blog post ❤️
Totally love what you said here Fungi! The social media has impacted our lives in one way or another and I can say that it seems that the grass is greener on the other side. As I get older, I see social media more of like a curated gallery that doesn’t define an entire life of a human being. I think it comes back to what makes us truly happy as everyone has their own terms of happiness. I’m glad that you have a similar point of view
I wish you well and I hope you have a lovely week ahead!
So happy to see you over here talking about this topic. I remember we chatted a big about this on Instagram messages a few months ago.
Your comments are really valuable for me and thanks for being there! 🙂
Hello Pablo!
I almost missed this post of yours. I thoroughly enjoyed your point of views with regards to reframing when we’re pulled into the comparison mindset. I lived as a teen before all this social media hoopla and when I was in my early twenties, Facebook sprung out of nowhere. Before that, there was Myspace and I was very much into Friendster!
Hahah, my age is really showing when I write about these things but one thing I’ve realized with time and experience in life in general, one accepts the state of the present life one’s blessed to have and feel grateful no matter the state of our living spaces, bank accounts etc. as long as one is healthy! Health is wealth! The rest, for me, are just fancy toppings.
I use social media to follow genuine people I really admire and find inspiration in them! Who knows what exactly is going on behind the scenes but like you said, it’s a window into a way of looking at life and I’ll take this opportunity to express my gratitude for finding you because I’ve never known anyone from Barcelona and I find it very intriguing!
See you in the next one 😉 Take care 🙂
Hi there, thank you so much for your meaningful and lovely comment on this blog post.
I was on Myspace too and it is crazy to see how much social media platforms have changed in just 10-15 years right? And as you well said you start to understand that health and wealth are the most important things than some of the fancy toppings we tend to see on social media 🙂
Hey Fungi!
I hope you are fine and having a lovely day:)
Thank you for sharing your great article on social media trap! I can imagine influencers have a busy and strange day because I have experienced a little…It was very hard for me. Your writing is true and motivating, so I feel like that I can defend myself!
Love the illustration with a broken heart from the super star’s smart phone. When I start to fall into the trap, I will remember your illustration:) If social media is one of the games, I would love to join the team FUNGI<3
akiko
https://kimonosnack.blogspot.com
Hey dear Akiko,
Super happy to see you here one more day 🙂 As usual thank you so much for your lovely support and I have to say that your account always inspire me, so you’re one of my favorite profiles to see on social media 🙂 I am team AKIKO of course ❤️